I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
