do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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