More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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