Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
