Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
