..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
