So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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