If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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