i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
