...so i touched it.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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