proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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