Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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