is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
