Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
