just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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