I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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