we have officially lost it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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