Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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