Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
