Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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