So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
