Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
