you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
