big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
