I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
