I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
