a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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