Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
two words: eviction party
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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