You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
