Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
