I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
