I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
