Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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