dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's get the cat blown out
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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