Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
