You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize