high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
