Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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