We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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