so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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