Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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