i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
