I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
