bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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