sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
