i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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