I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
