I hate all girls vehemently.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
