erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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