I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
