You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
