just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
