Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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