I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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