who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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