So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize