If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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