Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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