Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
