just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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