So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize