i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
