I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
