Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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