return my video game
nut hugger
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
