thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize