Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
