i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
