She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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