I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
