How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
