and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
