I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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