we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
