WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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