I'm really into asian looking animals
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
