im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
