NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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