Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
