she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
