When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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